To My Dearest Fat Cheeks Martin,
Good morning! :) Or good afternoon? Haha. I’m not sure kasi kung what time mo to makikita. But SURPRISE! I guess you’re wondering what this post is about right? And why does it have your name. Well, I dunno. Naisipan ko gumawa ng ganito to show you my appreciation and since I was inspired by the movie Glitters starring Mariah Carey. I dunno if you’re familiar with that movie. I’ll cut the story short na lang. Sadly, at the end of the movie, her boyfriend got shot, that was before her concert but before that happened they got into an argument (basta long story) then ayun. The day nung mismong concert ni Mariah, nakita niya sa news na yung boyfriend niya which WAS also her producer got shot, unfortunately. But Mariah still continued her concert despite of what happened. Before siya kumanta, may sinabi siya sa mga fans niya na sobrang parang may kumurot sa puso ko, she said “Don’t ever take anyone for granted because you don’t know when you’re going to lose em” - That line made me realize na we should love & appreciate our beloved ones while they’re still around. Naiyak ako sa part na yun, sobra. The first thing that came into my mind was you.
It’s hard for me to express my feelings verbally, you do know that. Kaya nga diba? Every time I’m mad/nagtatampo sayo, I just keep quiet. Di kasi ako yung tipong sisigaw na lang bigla or magdadabog, kung ano man. I am aware na yung mga yun, I mean yung way ko kapag nagtatampo is wrong, kasi we’re suppose to work things out together. I have always kept my feelings bottled up and masama yung ganun. But I just wanna let you know na I’m trying my best to open up and it’s reeeeeeeeeeaally reallly difficult. All my life, nasanay akong tinatago yung nararamdaman ko kapag nagtatampo or galit, i don’t know why. Maybe it’s because I’m thinking na who would care? I mean diba? I’d rather keep it to myself than letting others know tapos wala naman akong makukuhang response. My point is .. bat ko pa ipapaalam sa iba kung wala din naman sila maitutulong. Unfortunately, yun na yung naging mentality ko. All the pain and sufferings I’ve been through, di ko masyadong shinashare kahit kanino PARA LANG WALANG MAAPEKTUHAN, I mean para di rin sila malungkot. They always see me as jolly, maingay, makulit, ganito ganyan but they don’t know na when I’m alone, madalas akong nadedepress.
But anyway, enough of MY SAD STORY…
I have three words for you … Sorry, thank you and I love you.
First, Sorry.. Siguro nagtataka ka ngayon kung bakit ako nagaapologize. But WAIT - before ako magexplain, ayoko ng papalag ka ha? Haha. Kaseeeeeeeeeeeee, every time na magaapologize ako, sasabihin mo it’s not my fault, it’s yours. About that, it has always been MY fault. I mean, naging maPride ako sayo and I am truly sorry for that. Di naman kasi ako ganun before. As in. Siguro kaya naging ganun kasi dahil sa ‘past’. Alam mo na naman yun. Yung kwento ko dun. Natapakan kasi yung pride ko before and hinayaan ko lang na maging ganun. :| My ‘PAST’ really changed me a lot…. negatively. Pero I’ve managed to change that naman. I’ve already let go of it, really. I have moved on completely. Obvious naman ‘e. Ikaw at ikaw lang madalas kong iniisip and I’m not kidding. Ayun. Sorry kasi, ilang beses na kitang nasaktan, di mo man sabihin pero nararamdaman ko naman.
Like, nung PE niyo before? Remember what happened that time? I got mad at you nun although di ko na matandaan now kung ano yung reason. Pero yun nga, bigla na lang ako nawala. After ng PE mo, di mo na ko mahanap, only to find out na nakauwi na pala ko without letting you know. Di ko alam kung bakit ko nagawa yun. And nasabi mo na sa’kin na every time maaalala mo yung nangyari na yun, nasasaktan ka. The pain is still there. I’m sorry, I’m sooo sorry :( You don’t deserve that kasi e. Then you told me dahil dun sa nangyari na yun, you realized na I can leave you anytime, yun yung sabi mo. But you know what? I can’t and I won’t. Never. Gusto mo malaman kung bakit? …
Kasi mahal kita. And I’m really thankful kay God kasi he gave me the opportunity to meet you. I mean who would have thought na magkakagusto ka sa’kin? Actually, SOBRANG natutuwa ako every time binabalikan ko yung mga moments na crush pa lang natin ang isa’t isa, cheesy … I know.. BUT what the heck! :”>
Anyway, the ‘thank you’ part. Palalawakin ko lang yung linyang ‘And I’m really thankful kay God kasi he gave me the opportunity to meet you.
Thank you for constantly reminding me that you love me. :) EVERY DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY mo sinasabi na you love me and that you’re always there for me. Come to think of it, YOU ARE always there for me. And the answer to your question is ‘none’. Guess you’re wondering what the question is, right? “Was there a time na wala ako nung sinabi kong i’ll always be here for you” - that was the question, pero not that exactly, basta yun! Di ko na maalala exact words e. =)) Thank you because you never left me despite sa pagiging SOBRANG MOODY AT STUBBORN KO. Naiiyak ako. T.T Haha! :| Err. Di ka napagod, di ka nagsawa, di ka nagalit. I really feel loved. NEVER ka nairita/nagalit sa’kin kapag bigla na lang ako nawawala or bigla na lang di namamansin. Salamat sa alaga tsaka sa tiyaga. Siguro kung ibang guy na yun, nainis na sa’kin yun. As in. Ang bilis ko kasi magtampo and I’m reeally really sorry for that. Hindi mo nga dapat naeexperience yun, lalo ng ako first mo and hopefully, last. We may be experiencing a lot of small bumps along the way pero I am sure na everything will be okay. We have God, right? :) I mean, God is always there.
Basta ayun, super thank you! :) Your love for me is like God’s love, no kidding. It’s unconditional and I am REALLY REALLY BLESSED. Naalala mo nun yung palabas ng Ahills? Diba laging may namamalimos sa’tin? Then you always give them coins? Tapos there was a time na sabi mo ‘be a blessing to someone else’ Well guess what? You’re that blessing. I mean blessing sa’kin ni God :)
Now let me make it up you, ako naman. Please? :) Ang dami ko na kasing ginawa na nadisappoint ka. Ang dami ko ng nagawa na nakasakit sayo- well not physically. Please just let me make it up you ng onti onti. :) Parang ganito .. You’ll be surprised na lang ulit :*
Ayun. Again, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for the times na I hurt you and for the times na nadisappoint kita. Thank you for your unconditional love, and not to mention, yung full support mo sa’kin, sa lahaaaaaaaaaaat ng achievements ko :”> Thank you kasi everyday mo sinasabi sa’kin na I’m amazing and that you’re proud of me. Bihira lang kasi ako makatanggap ng ganun so thank you, really. And umm, I may not say it all the time like you do but I am proud of you too. You’re just like me, you’re strong-willed and determined. :) You have so many God-given talents that you’re not aware of. Plus …. Oh wait, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE BELIEVE ME THIS TIME .. Na YOU’RE POGI! :”“> Diba nga? Kaya nga lagi kitang tiniti2gan. :”“”“”“”“”“> Hohoho. Pag kasama kita, mas nahuhulog ako sayo. :”> I am so not kidding.
ANYWAAAY, novel na tong ginawa ko. BUUUUT to sum it all up…..
I LOVE YOU! And that’s that! :* I love you so muuuuuuuuuuuuuuch, deaath cannot tear us apaart, diba sabi mo? :”> Marami pa kong gustong sabihin actually pero di ko sasabihin ng isang bagsakan. :)) :) Bleh! >:P
I LOVE YOU CUTE FAT CHEEKS! :) :* I love you more today than yesterday but not as much as tomorrow! :)
